If You’ve Experienced These 10 Things, You’ve Lived in Maryland for Far Too Long

Living in Maryland comes with its own unique flavor — from blue crabs and unpredictable weather to that one weird obsession with Old Bay seasoning. But if you’ve been in the Old Line State long enough, certain habits, phrases, and experiences just start to become second nature.

You may not even realize how Maryland-specific your life has become… until you leave and no one else knows what you’re talking about. If you’ve experienced these things, well — you’ve definitely been in Maryland for far too long.

1. You Put Old Bay on Literally Everything

Crabs? Obviously. Fries? Of course. Popcorn? Yup. Chicken, eggs, chips, and maybe even your morning coffee (no judgment). If you’ve lived in Maryland long enough, Old Bay is less of a spice and more of a way of life.

2. You Have Strong Opinions About Crab Picking Techniques

You don’t just eat crabs — you judge how others eat them. You know the fastest way to crack a claw, scoop the mustard (or not), and you’ve definitely argued over which part is edible. If someone reaches for a fork, you automatically assume they’re not from around here.

3. You Know What “The Bridge” Is Without Needing More Info

Say “the bridge,” and you don’t need to ask which one. It’s the Chesapeake Bay Bridge — and you’ve either been stuck in hours of beach traffic on it or white-knuckled your way across during high winds.

4. You’ve Mastered the “Maryland Merge”

The art of refusing to let someone merge — or aggressively sneaking in at the last second — is a state tradition. Blame I-95, the Beltway, or Route 50, but if you’ve mastered this driving move, you’ve been here too long.

5. You Get Emotionally Involved in the Ravens vs. Commanders Divide

You’ve taken a side — probably passionately — and you stick to it. Ravens or Commanders (or maybe still calling them “Redskins” if you’re old school)? There’s no middle ground. Trash talk is part of the deal.

6. You’ve Experienced All Four Seasons in One Week

Snowstorm on Monday, 70 degrees by Thursday, humid mess by Saturday. Maryland weather is a complete wildcard. If you’ve stopped being surprised by these mood swings, congratulations — you’re officially local.

7. You Know at Least One Person Who Owns a Boat (Or Brags About It)

You might not have one yourself, but someone in your circle does. And they will remind you of it constantly. Whether it’s a yacht, a speedboat, or a barely-floating fishing skiff, boating culture runs deep in this state.

8. You’ve Defended Maryland Against Every Other State

“Oh, you’re from Maryland? Isn’t that just D.C. suburbs and crab legs?” No, Karen, it’s not. From the mountains in the west to the Eastern Shore, Maryland packs a whole lot into a small state. And if you’ve lived here long enough, you’ve probably had to explain that more times than you can count.

9. You’re Weirdly Proud of the State Flag

Let’s be honest — the Maryland flag is loud. But somehow, the red, white, black, and yellow grew on you. Now it’s on your shirts, bumper sticker, socks, and maybe even your lawn furniture. And you know what? You love it.

10. You Think Paying a Toll Is Just a Way of Life

Tunnel tolls, bridge tolls, express lanes — you’ve stopped questioning it. You just roll through and mentally subtract the $4 from your coffee budget. It’s not fun, but you know there’s no avoiding it.

Maryland may be a small state, but it packs a big personality — and if you’ve lived here long enough, you’ve picked up a few very specific habits, quirks, and opinions along the way.

From crab feasts and unpredictable weather to driving like a Beltway pro, these signs don’t lie. You’re not just living in Maryland — you are Maryland. And honestly, you wouldn’t have it any other way.

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