Spoof: #OccupyNutria holding ground at Plano lake park

Source: Nutria.com

#OccupyNutria plans to continue to hold down the park on the Chisholm Trail in Plano despite arguments with the more conservative ducks who are also raising families at the park. The Nutria are tolerated by the neighbors along Country Place, but often come as a shock to first-timers on the Plano trail between Parker Road and Spring Creek Parkway.

Plano’s Nutria Colony has released demands:

10. Nutria demand people know that Nutria were widely introduced in Texas as a “cure-all” for ponds choked with vegetation.
9. Nutria say they will not eat moss or algae.
8. Nutria want more signs telling residents how to pronounce “Nu-Tree-Uh.”
7. Nutria want to remind everyone that the nightly Nutria are not rats.
6. Nutria say they may start small, but they can get almost as big as beavers. Some Nutria in the Plano park appear to be between 15 and 22 pounds.
6. Nutria want cyclists and walkers at the park to stop leaving water and sports drink bottles along the trail and keep trash out of the creek, too.
4. Nutria want “No Hunting” signs up because their fur is sold on the international market. Nutria say their meat does not taste good, and Nutria say avoid any cookbooks and recipes out of Louisiana. Nutria, long blamed for destruction of wetlands also demand not to be taken to Louisiana, where they have been targeted by police and hunters.
3. The nocturnal Nutria want the ducks to quit honking before 7 a.m. Females have two or three litters every year, each consisting of five to seven young, and they need their sleep.
2. Nutrias, which have 20 teeth and 4-inch-long whiskers, want people to know they are known for eating plants but remind everyone that signs say “Do not feed the Nutria.”
1. Nutria want their own park, saying if Plano can have a dedicated dog park, why not a Nutria Park?

More info: National Geographic

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